Would you like to lie prostrate while Lyn or I stand over you, a snarl on our face, lashing your exposed genitals with a shark toothed-tip cat-o-nine tails while you beg for mercy knowing no amount of humiliation will be enough?
Well you can't, because that makes you a sad, weird little pervy and you should be locked up and spanked with wet lettuce leaves except you'd probably enjoy it, wouldn't you, you disgusting little weirdo? Besides, I have a high speed connection, so why do I need to go to all that effort when I can just watch it for... ahem. Aaaaanyway....
What you could do, instead, is sign up for the 2009 AHWA mentorship programme, and nominate one of us as your mentor. Which is just like the whole lying prostrate thing, but without having to explain the lash marks to your partner afterwards..... less mopping up, don't have to wash the floor, it's better for everyone, really.
Submissions to the programme run from the 1st to the 28th of February, so get to it, bitch!