CONSTANTINE...

...is surprisingly enjoyable. And (I can't believe these words would ever appear from my consciousness), Keanu Reeves doesn't do that bad a job. Okay, the film is riddled with weaknesses, and it's so far from the source material that changing the title from Hellblazer to Constantine is a damn good idea, BUT: if you want someone to play a character who has suffered so many spritual blows that he is dead mentally and emotionally, who can't raise a vestige of optimism to save his life, and whose knowledge of damnation is enough to scare any sense of vaitality from his every waking moment....... the Canoe is your man.

Of course, it didn't hurt to have Lyn and the boys snuggling into me every time a scary moment happened :)

BORDERLANDS 4

I enjoy Borderlands. I think it fills a valuable niche at the top end of literary SF in Australia, and I both submit and subscribe as often as I can.

I have a deep and abiding love of truly crappy SF. Hey, I've just told the world to watch Robot Monster. There is a level of badness beyond which something becomes amazingly enjoyable, like watching a car crash full of smurfs. True badness is as enjoyable as true class. Borderlands recognises this: Grant Watson's 'Bad Film Diaries' are an hilarious attempt by my favourite film maven to defend the likes of Masters Of The Universe, Alien 3, and Alien Vs Predator.

Borderlands 1, 2, and 3 have included some brilliant stories, such as Simon Brown's Ring Ring!, KJ Bishop's Beach Rubble, and Dave Luckett's By The Sweat of Your Brow.

Borderlands 4 contains the worst story I've read in years. Enjoyably bad like whole busloads of smurfs impacting each other. I'm not going to tell you which one. You have to buy the issue and find out for yourselves. And be aware: this isn't me telling you not to buy the issue. I want you to buy it: Borderlands is a fantastic magazine, and needs more subscribers. You should own it.

And if screenings of movies like Plan 9 From Outer Space, Star Wars, and Robot Monster can attract hundreds of fans of the deliciously awful, if Mathew Reilly can sell novels like most of us can only dream about, if Usher and Nelly can flog off more albums than any 3 good bands from your memory, then the story in Borderlands 4 should be read by as many people as possible.

It's fabulous!

A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME

Christopher Eccleston is an engaging cross between early Peter Davidson and Colin Baker. Billie Piper shows enough spirit and ballsiness to indicate that she'll be a more than acceptable foil. They keep the awful control room from that abysmal Paul McGann travesty (or at least, it looks like I remember and buggered if I'm going to watch it again to confirm), and there are some lovely bits of business going on that make me believe that this reincarnation could have some legs.

Yup, saw the first episode of the new Dr Who last night, crowded around Splanky's laptop with Luscious and the Sunday Night Crew.

I just wish Eccleston had worn something a little more Who-like. Sharp and stylish doesn't belong.