ANOTHER MOMENT OF LATERAL THINKING FROM THE MIND OF THE B-BOY

In the car on the weekend, apropos of nothing:

BLAKE: It would be really cool to be a werewolf.
ME: Really? Why?
BLAKE: Once a month I'd be allowed to stay up late.

Well........ yeah.

SHOPPING WEIRDNESS

Was out shopping yesterday for props for the Alternative History Game Show (Gotta love something that gives you a shopping list that includes a toy rat, mouthguard, and confetti). In one of the many stores I visited they were selling penyatas (or however the hell you spell it). Including one in the shape of a female angel.

Considering what you do to penyatas, and what you do to what spills out, it seemed rather wrong, to me.

WHY? OH, WHY? FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHY?

As if the universe was daring me to hold a party based on the "Why? Oh, why?" theory of music, I heard a new hip hop song on the radio that sampled (wait for it)........

the Captain Sensible version of Happy Talk.

To steal a line from Aki, WTFPOLARBEAR?

NOT LONG NOW

Saturday night is so close now that I've got to the stage of wanting everything between now and then to get out of the way and let us get on with it. It's going to be brilliant.

BE SEEING YOU

If you're not heading to Swancon, this is what you'll be missing seeing me do (apart from the wedding, of course :) )

Balancing Writing With Your Day Job (And Knowing when To Quit) Friday, 1pm-2pm. What do you get paid per word? How many words can you write a day? How many of them are you selling? How long can you survive without food and shelter? Is there more to the equation than this, and if so, what? With Charles De Lint, Rob Hood, Cat Sparks, & Dave Luckett

The Prisoner: Who Is Number 1? Friday, 2pm-3pm. “I am not a number. I am a human being!” So cries the eponymous prisoner in Patrick McGoohan’s revolutionary 1960s television series. But who exactly is he? What is the series about? And what the hell was that last episode about? With Luscious!

Short Fiction: Why Do We Still Write It? Friday, 3pm-4pm. If it’s not for money, is it for love? Is it more fun than writing novels? Is it a way of perfecting our craft? Is it because the voices tell us to? Please answer in 7500 words or less. With Charles de Lint, Terry Dowling, Robert Hood, Cat Sparks, and Stephen Dedman

Cult Movie, Bad Movie? Friday 5pm-6pm. Robot Monster. Plan 9 from Outer Space. Batman. Barbarella. Naked Killer. Tron. Do we love some movies despite their faults or because of them? What makes a cult movie, can you deliberately create a cult, and are there any good movies with cults? With Dave Cake, and Wing Chung

Trailer Park: The Good, the Bad, and the Sequels Friday 7pm-8pm. What does Hollywood have to offer us over the next year – and should we trust them to deliver? Can you judge a film by its trailer? And if not, are some films better than their marketing suggests? With Grant Watson, David Gunn, Simon Oxwell, and Paul Kidd

Alternate History Game Show Friday, 8pm-9pm. Last year, I rewrote history with the aid of 3 willing victims, who were forced to recreate the Bayeux Fingerpainting, buy Australia from the natives using only an Arnold Schwarzenegger DVD, and tear off random body parts from Vincent Van Gogh. This year promises to be even sillier. You don’t want to know what they invented instead of the toothbrush… With me!

Iron Writer Sunday 3pm-4pm. Nearly a decade ago, a man's fantasy became reality in a form never seen before; Writing Stadium, a giant literary arena. His motivation; to encounter new, original prose, which could be called true, artistic creations. To realize his dream, he started choosing the top Writers of various styles of literature, and he named his men and women the Iron Writers. With Paul Kidd, Cecilia Dart-Thornton, Zara Baxter, and Elaine Kemp.

Open Mike Monday, 12pm-1pm. Come and read out your words to an adoring audience. With whoever wants to read some of their stuff out.